


Does It Trouble Your Mind The Way You Trouble Mine?

by gaymusicians (benjaminschiffplatt)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Character Study, Drabble, F/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Vague, around season three/four, mentions of post-traumatic stress, of sorts anyway, short fic, so it is canon conpliant, title has nothing to do with the work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 18:57:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4315995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjaminschiffplatt/pseuds/gaymusicians
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dana profiles her emotions regarding Agent Mulder and she can't decide if those feelings truly trouble her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does It Trouble Your Mind The Way You Trouble Mine?

**Author's Note:**

> I am alien trash thank you.  
> Title taken from Exile, Vilify by the National. I highly recommend listening to it, it both sets the mood for the story and is my absolute favorite. I feel it fits the pace of the entire show.
> 
> Also, there are mentions and allusions to anxiety and post-traumatic stress, just as a warning.

Did you know that he's six feet tall? He towers over my five-foot-three frame and I have to crane my neck to look him in the eye whenever we speak, at least when he's standing directly beside me.

He usually is.

Not that I mind, anyway. In fact, I prefer it. When he's in the office, or working a case alone, I feel uncomfortable, like I'm missing something.

Of course, the only thing I'm missing is a certain dark-haired terror, but my heart still feels the separation.

Maybe it's a form of post-traumatic stress. After all these years of dangerous missions and near-death experiences, we're both bound to display signs of stress and burden. Perhaps my dependency on Mulder's presence is a part of that.

Maybe I rely on him too much. I consider him one of my only friends, certainly the only one I trust so deeply in the manner that I do. I think too highly of his opinion of me. I lose myself too quickly in his eyes, especially when he smiles. When he smiles, his dark eyes just light right up and shine like you wouldn't believe hazel could shine.

Oh, I'm just talking nonsense now. Eyes and smiles don't matter, not when your partner is halfway to crazy with one foot in the doorway to death.

At least I know Mulder feels, at the very least a fraction, of what I feel around him. He is often touching me, innocent moments where his hand meets mine as we walk down the hall, side by side. There are seconds of intimacy as his fingers land gracefully on my shoulder in a short touch, just long enough to assure Mulder that I am indeed real, tangible and present.

I'm glad I'm here for him. I don't wish to be anywhere else. Even if I were to be relieved of my anxiety at parting from him, I would never choose to be anywhere else. No matter of any choice in the entire universe, I would always pick Mulder's side as my place.

It makes me happy, but overall and most importantly, it makes him happy.


End file.
